Coffee Shop Residency

These days I sit in Surbiton’s coffee shops for about 3 hours at a time, on a daily basis. I rotate between the local independent and Caffè Nero, lest someone notices I have NOTHING else to do! I see people with buggies and babies and will them, telepathically, to be my friend. Sometimes, if I’m feeling adventurous, I’ll go to a baby group and talk about poo and sleep and boobs for an hour with some strangers who I never see again, whilst watching our precious babies shove some questionably cleaned, partially broken toys into their mouths, praying they don’t catch something too lethal. 

Before Otis arrived I didn’t get it.. I kept telling Papa Oatcake that I already had loads of brilliant friends, I didn’t need any more! I failed to realise that aforementioned friends have jobs.. I need some day time friends.. and not just someone to exchange poo stories with, like actual friends, who think the same and do the same as me! Actively seeking friends feels like something I’ve done maybe 3 times in my life! Infant school, secondary school and university.. and it’s easy in those cases because you are thrown together for several hours a day for weeks on end.. now don’t get me wrong, I’m really friendly and I really like people.. but I can’t help feeling everyone else has their own thing going on.. and sometimes the only thing you have in common with people is the babies.. and sometimes it’s nice to talk about something else!
It’s a bit like dating.. you have to talk to a million mums to find your soulmums! So rather than hoping telepathy will make people talk to me, I vow to talk to the next buggy pushing mama I see in a coffee shop, in the hope she’s feeling this exact same way! And if you see me going for the 3rd hot water refill on my pot of tea, come and say hi! 

Incidentally I see the same 14ish year old girl in Caffè Nero every day at 4pm.. she’s totally clocked me.. Maybe she’ll be my friend? 

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5 thoughts on “Coffee Shop Residency

  1. victorialjames says:

    I feel your pain… I’ve been trying out loads of different baby groups just to try and find mum friends 🙄 When I was at my local Nero (Worcester Park, so not too far from you) there was a group of mums having a lovely laugh together, but I was too scared to try and join them; it was like being the new kid at school!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jess says:

    I hear you! We moved from London back home, I say home I hadn’t lived there for 12 years 3 days before going into labour. My husband went back to work and my family and the few friends I did have were all working and I no longer had my busy career to worry about, just this little bundle who wouldn’t even let me shower! I felt totally lost. I have gone to baby groups, talked to mums about what were the good ones and at Christmas after a baby massage course with the lovliest group of mums I asked everyone if they wanted to finish the last session with a Christmas lunch… cue hoping we could all swap WhatsApp numbers! It worked we have started a walking group and are creating real friendships! It’s so blumin scary and feels like your back dating again! X


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