How do you like your eggs in the morning?

NB this post isn’t actually about eggs.
What’s your favourite type of egg? I like scrambled, only when cooked by my mum. Or boiled but I’ll only eat the yolk and leave the white. There are other ways to have eggs, but I don’t like eggs those ways. Papa Oatcake takes his fried, sometimes poached but really, who can arsed to poach an egg? None of those ways are the wrong way to cook an egg.. and you still end up with an edible egg at the end- at least you cooked it!

So why when you ask for advice, about anything to do with parenting, do people comment as though their way is the right way, the best way, the only way.. maybe I like my eggs scrambled and you like yours poached, and believe it or not, I’m fine with that.
I had joined in a conversation on a breastfeeding group about how to encourage little ones to sleep in their crib, a friendly mama had been describing to me what they had tried and how it had worked for them (note ‘for them’.. remember the eggs). Following said chat I thought ‘Hell! What have we got to lose, I’ll give it a go!’ So that evening when Otis yawned for the first time, we headed into the bedroom and changed into his PJs, I fed him then read him a story. Then I put him down in his crib, gave him his dummy, put on some white noise and lay next him. He lay quite contented looking around, then his eyes got droopy and 50 minutes later he was asleep! (I actually high fived myself at this point for totally kicking parenting butt!). It worked again tonight FYI, we are totally nailing it (by nailing it I mean hammering the first 2 nails into a shed and hoping it stays up). Anyway, having had this chat with fellow facebookMama, along comes Miss ‘I-only-eat-my-eggs-boiled-for-6-minutes-then-left-to-stand-in-cool-water-to ensure-a-runny-yolk’ and she says this.. I quote…

“Crying for an hour 😳 

Surely any form of sleep training has the same result – a child who is quiet because he/she has learned that his/her need won’t be met?”

Now, there’s nothing quite like being accused of being a hopeless parent to boost your self esteem, particularly 8 weeks in to motherhood, but at least choose something factual! Like how I sometimes leave Oatcake sitting in a nappy full of poo overnight because if I change him he’ll wake up and we don’t want that at 3am! Or that time where I blow dried the vomit on his trousers because we were going to see a friend and I’d spent all morning choosing his coolest outfit. Or even how my first thought when he pulls a funny face is how cute he’ll look on instagram.. now those are things you could try and parent-shame me for (but please don’t, I’m only doing my best!) but really!? I didn’t just leave him to cry for an hour! He didn’t cry at all actually.. but interesting that you made that assumption and put it upon me and my mini egg. Maybe my mini egg likes being scrambled. And yours liked being boiled. You can cook your egg whichever way you like, but please don’t tell me how to cook mine! Be my friend, tell me nice things about your egg and I’ll tell you nice things back. Be kind people! 

One thing I have learned since starting this parenting journey is that the internet is a cruel place. But, also a font of knowledge and support and positivity. So, anonymous martyrs of the mother-web, please remember… There’s more than one way to cook an egg!! 

Ps. Ironically I don’t really like eggs at all. Except mini eggs. I love those. Yummy. 
Image courtesy of @junkandglitter on Instagram! (And I’m on instagram too! @oatcakeadventures)

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