I am enough

Mummy blogs. I spend many of the small hours these days with a little one attached to the boob and a mummy blog open on the iPad. Mums all over the world have taken to the internet to worry, question and doubt their abilities. A feeling that resonates with me! I’ve pretty much questioned every decision or circumstance in my life so far, am I doing the right job? Am I the best at this job? Am I a good girlfriend? Am I making the right decisions?

But for once, I feel good enough. I’ve found my calling. I know that I’m the best mama for Otis. I actually think I’m good at it! It feels like I’ve found what I was put on the earth to do. Now that he’s here, my worries of him not having his own room, not having all the new clothes and ‘baby crap’, not being able to host nct coffee mornings in our tiny living room have floated into thin air. I couldnt care less how big my living room is, I’ve got everything He needs within me. And Before you say it, I can hear you! ‘just wait til he’s a toddler, wait til he’s a teenager, just wait til you have 2!’ And I know this won’t be an easy ride, but I’m SO on board!

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My biggest fear before raising babies was that I wouldn’t be as a good a mum to them as mine was to me. I had forgotten so much of the day to day-ness of childhood, that I couldn’t remember exactly how she did it! But you know what, I think it’s in me!

Controversial! Are you even allowed to say that on the internet? It must go against the unwritten code of the mummy bloggers, surely! But maybe we just don’t give ourselves enough credit.. even if you’ve sent your kid to school in pyjamas because they just wouldn’t get dressed or given them wheetabix for dinner 3 nights in a row because that’s all they will eat, you’re still the best mother for your own children aren’t you? I bet they sure think so! Everyone thinks their mum is the best, so take the credit for once. We’ve only gone and made, grown, birthed and raised an entire human! Remember, we’ve got this! And we’re bloody great!

Ps. I reserve the right to completely retract this entire post at any time when I’m losing my s*** or Otis is being a complete nightmare! Please don’t say ‘I told you so’.

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